Celebrity News:

At the 14th Funniest Celebrity in Washington Contest at the D.C. Improv, Joseph Randazzo, the Onion's assistant editor, nailed the crowd of journalists, politicians and other Beltway insiders with non sequiturs and deadpan delivery.

"While other news organizations covered stories like health care, war and quintuplets, we covered important stories - like sextuplets," said the editor of the satirical newspaper.

After spending his time thanking everyone - even his parents "for having sex that one time" - Randazzo mocked the man who eventually won second place, Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa.

Randazzo mused that Specter's "commitment to principle and bipartisanship is simply adorable. Of course he has a vested interest in protecting the Constitution, because he was there when it was written."

Specter, known as "Snarlin Arlen," caught the audience by surprise with jokes about former Sen. Bob Dole's sex life, Sen. Ted Kennedy's weight and Sen. Trent Lott's suffering after Hurricane Katrina.

"He lost his library. All two books. And Trent hadn't even finished coloring one of them," Specter said to howls of laughter.

But some of his best material came off the cuff. After the crowd cheered a joke about Dole's Viagra commercials, Specter scolded them.

"You are wasting my time. Loud is fine, but you are laughing too long. I'm not going to get to tell all my jokes," he said. He didn't either, opting to leave on a high note after another sex joke.

Of course, some of the comedians bombed. Richard Siegel, a professional entertainer and the event's host, claimed it was difficult for comedians these days because they had such a hard time thinking of terrorism humor. And then he told a terrorism joke that fell flat.

And David Corn, with The Nation, received more "ughs" than "ahs" during his act, when he speculated on a Bill Clinton and Paris Hilton sex tape and Fred Thompson's laziness.

The unofficial, if absent, star of the evening was, predictably, Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, and his infamous toe-tapping in an airport bathroom. Third-place winner Ana Marie Cox, formerly of Wonkette and now with Time magazine, told the crowd not to count Craig out just yet, and told one of the evenings' many off-color jokes about the senator.

Cox proceeded through rapid-fire shots at the leading presidential candidates, teasing former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y. She also ridiculed herself and the idea that she qualified as a celebrity.

"I was really surprised when they asked me to enter this contest - until I realized that by ‘funniest,' they meant on purpose, and by ‘celebrity,' they didn't mean anything at all," she said.

Pulitzer-prize winning newspaper columnist Clarence Page emceed the night, hopping onto the stage and grumbling about running into Craig in the bathroom. Other big names included Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., who stopped by to accept a lifetime achievement award for his off-beat humor on the House floor.

Judges included past winner, journalist Matt Cooper, now at Condé Nast Portfolio; Amy Argetsinger and Gene Weingarten of the Washington Post; Jamie McIntyre of CNN; Karen Tumulty of Time magazine, and Margaret Carlson of Bloomberg News.

The event raised $70,000 for VH1's Save the Music Foundation and the Institute of Musical Traditions. Individual tickets were $200, and a table for eight people, seating with a celebrity and the VIP reception before the event cost $5,000.